Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Sometimes you're the windshield...

And sometimes you're the bug...

Friends, my heart is sad this morning and I have an overwhelming feeling of disappointment. THIS is exactly why our agency does not typically let you know when your profile has been shown. Despite my best efforts, I (we) got our hopes up, talk to our kids about it, prayed with them about it, told our friends and family and asked for their prayers, even talked about baby girl names... heck I even updated our registry/wish list with a few baby girl clothes. I shouldn't have done that. I know that.

My head knows and keeps trying to tell my heart that...

"all things work together for the good of those who love him." Romans 8:28
And to "not be anxious about anything, but in everything through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, to present my requests to God, and the peace of God will guard my heart and my mind" Phil 4:6-7
AND that "God knows the plans he has for me, plans for good and not for evil, to give me a future and a hope"

But today I am feeling a little hopeless and defeated :( My head and my heart just can't seem to sync up. I know that God has never let me down and I am completely blessed beyond what I deserve - and it's not that I feel like he messed this one up or anything like that - I'm just sad that it wasn't our turn.

I know there is something we are supposed to learn from this, which I guess just feeds right on in to my Word of the Year... TRUST.

Our baby is out there, and all I can do is try to shake this disappointment off and focus on praying for the precious mother that is carrying our baby.