Monday, May 11, 2015

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride...

That's how I am feeling today :( We got the email today that, yet again, we were not chosen by the birthmother. It's frustrating and disappointing even though I KNOW that God has a plan for our family. It's frustrating that I'm letting Satan whisper lies in my ear that God is punishing me because he doesn't think I am a good mother. I just kinda feel like it's never going to happen, you know.

I had to hit the gym and bust out a good sweat sesh to try and get my mind off it and NOT eat all the chocolates and sit around feeling sorry for myself and letting Satan get the better of me.

So, what now? I don't know. I guess we sit and we pray and we wait for God to let us know. I will let this brokenness that I am feeling today make me stronger not weaker, and although it is not easy, I will try and rejoice in this disappointment. Somewhere, some sweet family's dreams just came true and the child the Lord has chosen for them will be in their loving arms in a few short weeks. Praise God for that. Isaish 41:10 keeps ringing in my head, so I will hold tight to these truths.

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