Perhaps it's because I was thinking/planning/hoping to have a surrogate (friend of mine) carry our sweet #3 (possibly 3 and 4 - I shudder to think) in the next month or two. But unfortunately, since she had to have a uterine ablation, that ship has sailed and is no longer an option. Womp womp! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely crushed by the news, but at the same time, I know that God has better plans for me/us, and that just wasn't in his plan. This whole surrendering control thing is tough!
I know that given the state of my crazy toddlers at the moment, a baby should be the last thing on my mind, yet I just can't seem to shake the feeling and the yearning. With the cost of adoption and surrogacy both around $20-30k, J and I know that realistically and logistically, there is NO WAY we would be able to afford going that route :( We just have to keep the faith, or rather I have to keep the faith!
Have you caught the baby fever too? Here are 10 signs mama needs another baby, stat (via The Stir):
1.) You burst into tears at the sight of your Facebook feed and all it's birth and pregnancy announcements.
2.) You daydream about nursery colors instead of working, picking out all the
3.) You buy baby outfits for friends and can't bear to send them because MAYBE you will have another one and MAYBE you will need that outfit and it will be out of stock.
4.) The sound of a baby crying makes your boobs tingle even though you haven't lactated in more than two years. Actually, scratch that. The THOUGHT of a baby's cry makes your boobs tingle. Yep. It's true.
5.) You actually contemplate picking up a stray baby in the store and asking the mom how bad she REALLY wants her. It's a stray second of insanity, but enough to scare you.
6.) Your best friend has a baby and you still don't give her all the beautiful Hanna Andersson clothing in mint condition that no longer fits your big kids. You don't want it to get dirty! Just in case!
7.) You move hundreds of dollars worth of stray baby items to your new home even though you have no baby on the off-chance you might again. Someday. (um yeah, boxes of them actually, both girl and boy, cause well, you never know)
8.) You have a million practical reasons not to have a baby and you still long for one.
9.) You daydream about baby names and feel like you will be lost if you don't get to name a baby after your great aunt Mildred who died with no
10.) You totally can't remember the sleep deprivation and think, It couldn't have been that bad, right?
Hope you all are makin' it through this Hump Day!
-Candice
And then you have the next baby and wonder how you ever forgot about the sleep deprivation part ;) I admire you for longing for another baby(ies). I have two.. not twins and I'm going cray cray! Ages 5 & 3.
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